Remember as a kid when the hardest decision was choosing whether to have chocolate or strawberry sauce on your ice cream? How times change. I don't know that i've ever been a contented person. Even as a child, I remember confusion and hurt being a part of who I was and it's only gotten more confusing and hurtful as I aged.
Everyday I discover there's more things about myself that I don't like. I'm on a slow self-destruct and if i'm not careful I know i'm going to implode. I had my therapy appointment last Monday, and if i'm honest, I really think I need psychiatric councel. I was warned that they would more than likely remedy the situation through drugs alone, but I know i'm not right. I feel like there's more than one of me round here and I don't like it. I'm doing and feeling things that aren't normal, but they won't go away. I can see the errors i'm making/thinking/feeling before I make them but can't stop them.
I wonder if I ran away, would anyone really notice? Would my children be happier?
Maybe one day i'll find the answers, I only hope I don't find them in the bottom of a bottle or somewhere more sinister!
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